Easter-tears, melancholy

My life sucks. This is the truth. Easter, and I was alone at home, there is no even to speak up. All friends spend their time with their families. I unfortunately do not have a family, or at least that you interested in getting involved is what I feel and what I want. Sitting at home all the time, think practically. About my life and what it will be about the fact that others at the same time are among the people who love them. It's funny because I think I was the only I would like to live with your parents feel their love and enjoy their presence. I was not ever feel love, parental always missed me since I can remember. Melancholy comes at me especially in the holidays when I sit alone trying to recall a happy moment in my life involved with the family, but there is no such. The only light they are memories my foster grandmother, which I think that I loved because I felt that despite her anger when I did something wrong. With her I was happy with it I spent the most beautiful moments, even a trip to England after all was not so beautiful. My grandmother gave me love and happiness, now when it is not I was quite alone. I don't have one with you. Nobody can tell you what I feel for the truth, I have no friends that I could like to confide that I understood and not rejected. Because who would want to know someone like me. Pretending to be someone else better to me is to live, it's easier. No need to explain why I am sad and I have tears on the cheeks. Like everyone I love and happiness. Is it so much? Do I wish impossible? . . . Sometimes I fall asleep and never wake up, dreaming forever