Depression :-( My live is good for nothing

Not long ago I have discussed here. The reason was simply had too little time to devote to writing. Now the storm got me depression, sadness, frustration. I still cry when I think about how I use and how I've given up on actually colleague. I do not know whether you did I mention but may I am deputy head at the store. My head and knew it well that from September back to school and my lesson plan can be so arranged, that finish late and did not have the problem, argued that somehow we'll manage. About a month ago, however, have stated that they do not want to I was further Deputy and that the search will be on my place someone, and I have to go to work on weekends, which is a position that really does not exist, the position from which I started. Today I learned that I can be moved to another shop because two people on weekends may not be. I feel horrible because I tried to as I could, everything I learned and I that I can cope. I did the errors because no one has trained me as an alternate, from mistakes to teach everyone. So many tears I lost because I really care about working in this store and this store. This is my first job and I know that's not there but I don't want to simply be moved to a different shop and learn everything from scratch, read with the composition. I doubt that I was so great and the friendly atmosphere which is currently. I'm broken down and I do not know what to do. Next month comes my successor, Deputy Head of the new, I obviously I need this to lose because I have less hours which is associated with lower earnings. If they wanted to move me to another store I thought about after talking directly with the boss about it. Now it is not about position because I can recover them as I finish school in April, and I can adapt to the new Deputy, it's just a post but it certainly will not be able to a new Deputy as much as me and knew so much about the brand and the customer. On the one hand, I feel like quitting this job, but I don't want to leave because they were drawn to this store where great coping and know everything, and the people I work with. I do not know how I help it if I take, I'm afraid. :(

Easter-tears, melancholy

My life sucks. This is the truth. Easter, and I was alone at home, there is no even to speak up. All friends spend their time with their families. I unfortunately do not have a family, or at least that you interested in getting involved is what I feel and what I want. Sitting at home all the time, think practically. About my life and what it will be about the fact that others at the same time are among the people who love them. It's funny because I think I was the only I would like to live with your parents feel their love and enjoy their presence. I was not ever feel love, parental always missed me since I can remember. Melancholy comes at me especially in the holidays when I sit alone trying to recall a happy moment in my life involved with the family, but there is no such. The only light they are memories my foster grandmother, which I think that I loved because I felt that despite her anger when I did something wrong. With her I was happy with it I spent the most beautiful moments, even a trip to England after all was not so beautiful. My grandmother gave me love and happiness, now when it is not I was quite alone. I don't have one with you. Nobody can tell you what I feel for the truth, I have no friends that I could like to confide that I understood and not rejected. Because who would want to know someone like me. Pretending to be someone else better to me is to live, it's easier. No need to explain why I am sad and I have tears on the cheeks. Like everyone I love and happiness. Is it so much? Do I wish impossible? . . . Sometimes I fall asleep and never wake up, dreaming forever