Hi...

Hi,

I'm often not here and I don't write anything. Unfortunately, my life is getting worse and worse. I thought for a while that it was good. . . . However, it was temporary. I met great people and spent a nice time. I was even at the next edition of Fame MMA 3. What I felt when my friend won is indescribable. Everything was nice to this day. The boy I met a few months ago and I like him quite strongly because I'm jealous of him as I've never found out about one thing a month ago I borrowed 50 zlotys from our friend when I was on a trip and forgot to give him back. He said it to the one I like. It turned out that he probably broke his knowledge of what I understood and he doesn't want to deal with me. It feels like a wreck, a garbage. It was the first time I was so concerned. I care a lot about him and even if he doesn't see it, she would like me to be more than just a buddy. Everything is collapsing now. I have outstanding loans to repay, I can't find a job, I've been drawn into a crime unconsciously and the day after tomorrow I have a case in court to relinquish my stepfather's inheritance. I feel that with this colleague it will not be the same anymore. Recently he also wrote what I am doing on 1 April, i. e. today. We were supposed to meet. Today, when asked if we see each other, he wrote to me that let's rest, that he will only meet a friend and return home. Totally he forgot that he was arranging with me. I didn't write it to him, but I took a special day off, even though I need a lot of money now. I feel very bad at the moment and I want to throw everything away and run away. Close yourself in the room and don't leave it any more. I want to cry. I know it's stupid because in total he didn't give me any clear signs than he treated me like a friend but I just started to care about him, and now when I lose this knowledge my heart breaks. For the first time in my life I felt something so strong that I could be jealous of the boy and now she wanted me not to get to know him because I wouldn't suffer at least.

Sometimes I think...

Sometimes I think that life likes to put obstacles on the way to us. Is not here talking about me but about a colleague, which is for me a close up and very worried about it. I'm worried because he has problems, and it is a very sensitive girl. I would like to help her somehow but I can not, I do not know how I could. Same I have never been on her site, not lost love. I do not know what you may feel now only do I guess and imagine.

Best Friend? Who?

Sitting in front of a laptop overtook me, a thought that I think not only me touched. For sure in life also had a situation where the doubt that you have real friends. I do not have them, I say this being a 100%. I'm not so that someone I can talk to without barriers. Maybe it's better. I prefer to withhold some things because I know that I could later regret that he she knows. You can never trust someone in 100% because always the few percent of this uncertainty will be in the US. Is an inevitable part of the US. There will always be risks and fear. It may seem strange to you the unthinkable but it's the truth, I do not want to trust anyone in 100% because I do not want to suffer. In humans it is easy to drive. Little, however, we are talking about your feelings. Few people who openly talks about what he thinks or feels. A friend is the one who should go first. And what if he only pretends to be our friend? We can't be sure. We do not know the truth. 

A lot of people do not dare however prevent himself thinks he can be denied. Here on the blog I move topics that hardly anyone dares to. I wouldn't dare to write in your own language, none of my environment does not know about this blog. However, this blog lets me sometimes feel better. Throw yourself is what I feel. 

My snapchat: realmebl

Me and My Live

Here I throw posts and do not know what? Probably the only for myself because like for someone else when no one is there. Rather, you are not interested in the life of a boring Polish 19 year old girls with problems in everyday life. Well, however, I next I wrote because I find it easier to just withstand with all that surrounds me with life because sometimes me it transcends, probably not only me, but also i was. Sometimes everyone has such thoughts where has enough life would like to shut up in an empty room and shout. Well life is shit. Will never be well I guess, or at least as we wanted to. No but what next we go through life. Soon waiting me to start the next stage in life. Currently waiting for me, and then studies of course if I pass a high school diploma because if not the same I do not know what I do, not thinking about the possibility of not takes the exam. Well life is unpredictable so I can't predict what will happen tomorrow, let alone speaking for several months.